A Surgery Date

    As promised, here is the update on Cameron's appt. today. 
   We went up to the University Hospital to meet with a new Doctor.   He's very nice and seemed very knowledgeable about what he was talking about.
  It is for sure a Giant Cell Reparitive Granuloma.  But instead of being in his jaw where they usually are, his is in his temporal bone area of his head.  

 He did some hearing tests, the kind with the tuning forks.  He doesn't feel at this time that Cameron's nerve in his right ear is intact.  He thinks its been damaged too much.  If that's the case, when he does the surgery ~ which will take 4 hours ~ he will just take the tumor and all the ear bones out and seal off his ear canal. So he will be deaf in that ear, but I'm totally ok with that.  Like one of my friends said, at least he can still hear out of the other one and talk.  I'm counting my blessing for sure that all he's losing is his hearing in that ear, it could be so much worse.   If he thinks the nerve is salvageable he'll save what he can and then we'll discuss rehabilating his hearing in that ear at a later date. 

   The whole highlights of Cameron's day was riding in the elevator, which he had never done before, and the cool way they looked into his ears. They had a setup that not only magnified the inside of the ears, but it sent a video image of it to two screens on the walls so we could see what they saw.  He thought that was awesome. Lol 

   The doctor told me that the tumor is affecting the facial nerve on that side because its attached itself to it, and depending on how much they have to manipulate the nerve to get it off, Cameron could have some facial paralysis but that it should only be temporary and be gone within two weeks.  There are other side effects or possible side effects that I can't remember right now, but they scared me.         

  The surgery is scheduled for Feb. 1st.  He'll be in the hospital 3-5 days and the recovery time at  home will be 2-3 weeks.     I  am so relieved to finally have a date, yet it's two weeks away. So on a plus side, it's giving me time to get things in order like my house cleaned really well so I don't have to worry about it as much when we come home, and making some dinners to freeze so Pat can just pop them in the oven while we're gone and for the first few days we are home so I don't have to worry about making dinner as well as taking care of Cameron.  I can also prepare the school for his absences, get in touch with his teacher and get a homework schedule set up for us.  But it's two weeks of waiting.... Again, not the worlds most patient waiter.    

  Dr. Sheldon said he was going to keep both the other specialists we've seen informed of what's going on.  I thought that was nice, but why?? Lol  although, now that I think about it, Dr. Major said we could do all of our follow up appt's with him here in town, so that's good he's keeping him 
informed too.    

He also asked me, since it is such a rare spot for this tumor to be if it would be ok if they wrote an article for a medical journal featuring Cameron and his tumor. Including pictures of him and his scans.  I said yes, but I want a copy of it when it's finished.  He then looked at Cameron and said, "you'll be famous!"  Cameron just looked at him and said, "yeah, so." Lol  oh I love my boy!!!  I also promised him that we could take a ride on the escalators that they have there when we go back in two weeks for the pre-op appt. 
(Updated here)  Dr. Sheldon said that he talked to Dr. Sharma and looked at the scans, and then went and researched Giant Cell Granulomas in the temporal bones, he found several cases recently, but they are all in Asia. He said that there are a few cases here in the U.S.  but he wants to do the study because he didn't find any in the English language that dealt with them as young as Cameron. 


  Well, I think that's all for now that I can think of. I'll update again later. 

**************UPDATED!****************

A tumor?? No, really? Shocking!!!

   A little sarcastic?? Maybe... 
 
   Ok, so I FINALLY get to touch base with the doctors office, after playing phone tag all morning. I was getting gas so I could head out of town and this was my phone call. 
 "Hello, is this Sarah?" 
 "It is." 
  "Hi Sarah, this is Gayla from Dr. Sharmas office and I wanted to make sure that you got my message about your appt. with Mountain Medical this morning."  
   "I got it, thanks." 
   "Ok, I was just making sure."
   "Yes, I got it.  Did you also have the results of the biopsy?"  (I thought that's why she called) 
   "Umm... Yeah, hang on a sec." 
   "Ok" 
    Wait for about 2 minutes..... 
   "Ummm... Did Dr. Sharma call you at all?"  
    "Nope. I've only talked to you." 
    "Ok, hang on a sec."  
  Wait another few minutes.....
    "Ok, well the pathology report says that it's not malignant so it's definitely NOT cancer. So that's good.  And it says that it is a tumor and will need to be surgically removed."  
     "Ummm... Ok."   I'm thinking, that's it! That's all your going to tell me?? I already knew everything you just told me!!" 
    "When is your next appt.?"  
   "You didn't schedule us one." 
  "Ok hang on a sec." 
Waiting for about 5 minutes......
     "Ok, so when we get the results of today's scans in, Dr. Sharma will present Cameron's case to the counsel (thing that they do) on Wednesday and then they will decide where to go from there. So you should get a call towards the end of the week." 
    By now, I'm running late to get to the imaging place so I just thanked her and hung up. And growled loud enough that the guy at the gas pump next to me looked at me like he wanted to ask if I was ok, but scared to do so because I growled so loud.   I smiled slightly at him, but it may have come out looking more like a grimace because he truly looked scared after that. If I see him again, I'll apologize.   She didn't really tell me anything I didn't already know except that its for sure not cancerous!!! Grrrr!!!!!!!! 

     When we got down to the imaging place (they totally rock BTW) we were a few minutes late and when we walked in I was asked if they told me they'd be doing another IV for contrast.  I said no. Thinking, it's a CT scan, they didn't do contrast last time and wondering how or why I tell Cameron that he's getting another shot.  So I filled out the paper work including permission to start an IV, took it back up and she tells me she asked and we weren't getting an IV today.  YAY!! So I tell Cameron, good news, no IV.  Then someone else brings me out a paper to sign and its a consent to start an IV!! I was like WTH??? So I signed it and politely gave it back.  Then they took us back and guess what?!?  NO IV!! Yay!!! But before they took us back, a doctor came out and says I have a question. I'm a bit confused.  Did they tell you it was a Giant Cell Granuloma?? I said no,that they only told me it was a tumor.  He said and where are we doing the scan??  I said right here, pointing to Cameron's ear.  I said I was told they were doing a fine cut temporal bone scan.  He said that's why I'm confused.  Giant Cell Granulomas are usually in the jaw. 

  I looked it up when I got home.  I can only find less than ten cases in the US of Giant Cell Granulomas in the temporal bone.   The two case studies I found were both adult males. None in kids. But both those guys had theirs on the right side too. 
      So I guess by the end of the week, I might know more... For now, we are, AGAIN stuck in waiting mode. 
  I'm so thankful to know for sure that it is not cancerous.  Everything else I can deal with. 
I'd also like to say, I'm not 100% sure that it is a Giant Cell Granuloma, cause she didn't tell me that on the phone.  She just said a tumor.  :/  which we've known for ever. 

  

Is this a normal Saturday night at your house too?

   Ok, first news (or not) on Cameron.   I will for sure hear something tomorrow about the biopsy results. They got them back and immediately called and made us an appt. with Mountain Medical Imagining for Monday. Then called to tell me about it.  I will either get a call from the doctor, or his assistant on Monday with the results.  I might have been able to have them Friday but for some reason my phone didn't ring and it didn't tell me I had a voicemail until I got another one on Saturday.  I'd hate to think I might have missed the appt. because my phone sucks!!! So we are going in for another CT scan, this one will be fine cut temporal bone scan.  But hopefully they won't be doing any contrast and so no IV. The last time we did a CT scan it was done in about ten minutes. I'm guessing this one might be a little longer, but still not too bad.  Cameron has been sick since just after Christmas break started. He felt better by Christmas but then got a nasty head cold.  His biopsy incision is healing nicely and he can sleep on that ear again. He only has a tiny piece of stitch left. That was kinda gross how they dissolve and then leave an ick behind, but it's all looking good. Just a little red. 
   Pat was laid off from his new job, due to military budget cuts, and with it went our insurance. I'm stressing over that, but I'm still going to do what I have to do for Cameron, whether I can pay for it or not yet.  Pat and I were finally able to sit down and talk and things are much better. Even with the new stress load. We are hoping we can get Cameron on Medicaid.  I don't care about myself, my only concern is Cameron at this point. Kelly is covered through his step moms plan. 
 Also, totally not related except that its about Pat.  I found out that my husband, who will fully admit he isn't a handy man when it comes to household fixing things -(give him a computer and he's a whiz!) - knows a freaky amount of stuff about how to fix toilets.  Our toilet in the boys bathroom has had an issue where water was always running in the tank and down into the toilet. It never over flowed or was anything other than a nuisance. But he fixed it last night and knew right away what was wrong and how to fix it.  When we were at the store looking at the parts they had there I was all like, " do we need this, this has everything we might need, or what about this, and what does this little do hickey do"  but he grabbed a cheap two dollar part and said this is all we need. I was a bit skeptical to say the least, but figured he knew better than I did at this point, may as well go with it.  He is freaky good with computers and toilets.   Did all boys have to sign up for lessons on one household matter. Did they have to become proficient in it before they could leave? And is it a secret club that only boys got to be in. Granted I wouldn't want to take a class on toilets, but hey, someday it may come in handy.  Then again... So would a number for a plumber.  That would be my way of fixing it. Lol 

   Anyway, I'll post what the results are as soon as I get them and have sometime to sit down and write. 

So Frustrating.... and also Biopsy's

                   Last Wednesday we had the appt. with the new specialist.   He was super nice.  But when I walked in I thought I had some answers, when I walked out, I had none!  He was very professional and very kind, but he just wouldn't say one way or the other about what it might be.  He wouldn't tell me it still wasn't cancer, he wouldn't say it was Osteoblastoma either.   He just wouldn't say one way or the other.  He was concerned about the rate of growth, and with Cameron's hearing.  So he sent us next door, which was in the same building, just across the hall to do a hearing test.   That was the highlight of Cameron's whole day.   They said that his nerve is still great and he can hear really well from that, its the canal that has the obstruction.  Which we knew already.   His ear canal is being pushed down and blocking his ear drum and 2 of the 3 bones in his ear are eroded.  His hearing was very bad on that side.
       Then the doctor said that he wanted a biopsy done and went to schedule it.  He came back and said that it was scheduled for the next day.  The hospital called and said he couldn't eat or drink after 9pm.  So we had to scramble to get him ready for a small surgery.  The only thing he complained about was that he was hungry and thirsty. And the most of that happened when he was given the medicine to relax.   We were told to be there at 115, and the surgery would be at about 3-330.  They didn't come to take him back until after 4.  Then he was in surgery for an hour and then recovery for awhile.  They called me to come back to the recovery room before he fully woke up.  That made me feel better.   I don't know about Cameron, but it sure did me.    It took awhile for him to wake up and drink before he could come home.  He came home and rested for a few days and is good as new... sorta.  He has a scar behind his ear, which according to the doctor is healing nicely.  He has to keep the area mostly dry until the stitches are gone.   They will dissolve. Then he wanted us back today so that he could check how he was healing and if there were answers back discuss them.  (I wrote the top half after I wrote the second half when I realized I hadn't talked about the biopsy yet.)

    

   We are back from doctors office.   Still no answers!!!  I am getting so frustrated. I am so happy that they are being so thorough, but we've been going to all these different doctors and are being told one thing and then another.   

    I really do like Dr. Sharma.  He has been so nice and he seems like he really does care.   But I found out today that he might not be the one to do the surgery?!?   He was the specialist the specialist sent us to.  If he's not doing it, who's going to do it???  

   So, our news from today:   Dr Sharma said that they talked about Cameron's case in their little counsel thing and they are all in agreement that they don't think it's the normal type cancers.   They feel its not malignant at this time.  Yet none of them know what it is.  Or have any idea.   He said that there is a pathologist here who is one of the top in the country who is the next one to read Cameron's biopsy. He said he might not be the last one to see or try to read them, but he is the next one.   Then when they find out for sure what it is (and that might take longer than he first thought), he'll call me to discuss the results and then we'll schedule ANOTHER CT scan, but this one will be a specialized scan of his right temporal bone something or other.  He said that Mountain Medical Imagining can do the scan again so Cameron can see his friend Kirk there.  And I'm so glad it's a CT scan and not an MRI.   The CT doesn't take as long and he shouldn't have to have contrast.  He said they want an exact image of what's going on and what's being affected.

   He said that when they figure out what it is then they will figure out what they are going to do and how to take it out.  He said that he might not be the one who does the surgery.... So we will be seeing Doctor # 6!!!!   I really am getting tired of going to all these specialist who keep sending me to specialist!! How many more specialties do they need? Dr Sharma should have been the last one.  He's the major head and neck surgeon... who else does he need to see?? How much higher up are we going to have to go? Is that the way it even works? Maybe we are just going sideways.   Though it feels like we are going forward and then back again sometimes... 

    The surgery definitely won't be before Christmas so he can have a good Christmas and not be in pain.  It's just me that has to worry... and I don't have to worry, but I will be worrying.  It's my right to do so. lol

   He did so well on his biopsy. He didn't complain about pain much but has had several night terrors since then.   He didn't sleep well at all once the bandages came off. So he stayed home from school Monday and Tuesday. (the bandages came off Sunday night).   

   He really is a trooper.  He has handled all this with an amazing attitude.  He has been just as happy and pleasant as he ever is.   I don't know how he does it, but I want to be like him when I grow up.  Even when he wasn't feeling the best he was still trying to be happy.  I will be taking lessons from him for sure.    He woke up from the anesthesia so peaceful and calm, and they said that most kids wake up fighting or mad.  I even had a few friends caution me that that might happen.  I got lucky this time I guess. Pat even made it to the hospital just after they wheeled Cameron into recovery.  So when he woke up his dad was there.  He really liked that. 
  
   So that's what has been going on... and I still have no answers.   And I'm getting so tired of going from one doctor to have them send me to another doctor.  

It's almost here...

    Well, it's almost Wednesday.  The DAY of the appt. we've been waiting to go to.  I really was ok with everything.  I was dealing well, I wasn't stressing too bad.  My sweet cousin Rachele dropped off some essential oils the other day and suggested that I go get a journal.  So I did.  And I have been using the oils ~ though diluted.  They are too strong for me on their own.  And between all the people who have been asking about us and being super sweet, I really have been ok.   Then last night I had a horrible dream.  The dream itself wasn't too bad, it was the way it left me feeling inside after it was done.  It was about Cameron's surgery, and while we were preparing him for it they came to get blood and it took a bunch of us to hold him down and he was scared and screaming and through all this, my dad who was supposed to be there, wasn't anywhere to be found. So I was in a panic over Cameron, but also worried about my dad.  So I woke up feeling crappy.   Then some other things happened at home that just made the day go from bad to worse.  


    Pat has to work tonight, so I decided that since it's just me and Cameron home we'll order a pizza and then go look at Christmas lights.   I am trying to be positive but it's hard. The weather isn't helping. (those that know me know that overcast conditions are not my friend.)  
   I've had so many wonderful people offer to listen and be here if I need them and I had been talking to my sweet mother in law about a lot of it, but I feel like all I ever do is vent and complain (sometimes about Pat, and I feel bad talking to her about that. I don't want her to ever feel like she has to choose a side. Cause I'm honestly not asking her too) So today I decided to stop venting to her. So I have a position available if anyone wants it. LOL  I know that she'd tell me I was being silly and to not worry about it, but I do. And that is one thing I can stop doing and stop worrying about.  

The other day some one (I think I've narrowed it down to 2 possibles) left some cookies, a jug of punch and a can of calming purple stuff on our porch.   Pat and I were home and had just finished eating when the doorbell rang.  He looked at me and asked if I was expecting anyone, to which I replied that I was not.  So he went to answer it and then I hear "O....kayyyyy...."   and he bends down to grab it off the porch.  It was very sweet of them. So if you are reading this, THANK YOU!!! 

   I'm worried about some thing else now...   And I know that I am all over the place with my topics but I'm trying to get these out as fast as they are coming and they are not always coming in order.  So please bare with me.   Anyway, I know that health scares can bring families closer together and it can tear some of them apart.... While I won't say that it's tearing us apart, it's definitely not bringing us closer together either. So I'm afraid that eventually it would tear us apart.   And by no means does Cameron have a life threatening condition.  Its life altering for sure, but not so much life threatening.  But Pat and I don't ever, and I mean EVER talk about it, we seem to be fighting more, some of which I know I start.  But I am not, and I know that this will come as a shock to many of you, but I am NOT super woman.  I can't do it all.  And I can't do it all alone.  I feel so bad for my friends who do have to do it all alone cause I have no idea how they do it.  I need help here at home, and yet now seems to be the time when everyone else wants a piece from Pat.   So he's going off to help everyone else and I'm home dealing with Cameron.  In fact, and I'm not proud of this, he left for work today and I barely spoke to him.  I have told him I need him home more and he asks why, and because I don't have specific answers for him, I feel like he blows me off.  I honestly feel like I am his last priority lately.  (I probably shouldn't be saying all this so publicly, I HONESTLY do love my husband and I know that he loves me) I just need for him to show me differently than he is now.  I got in the shower today and cried because of all the tension.   I hate it.  I really was doing so well earlier this week.  I was at peace and had given all my worries over to the Lord, having FAITH that He would see me through this.  I still know that He will.... but how will Pat and I still be on the other side of this??  Will we be back to normal?? Will we be better than we were?  Or will we be struggling to hang on to each other and our marriage.  I don't want the last option.   I want us happy and healthy like we were.   
    Now, how to do that??? I feel resentful towards the people taking him away from me,  and some of them are family and so now I feel horrible for feeling that way towards them.  But I don't know how to change that either unless I just stop expecting Pat home and pull up my big girl panties and do it all alone anyway.  Maybe that's what I'll have to start doing. 

Anyway, just my thoughts.... I hoped that like last time, sharing my thoughts would help me to feel better.   And please, if you comment please don't bash Pat.  He is trying in his own way to deal with this and unfortunately for me, I don't understand his way.  Just like he doesn't understand mine.  I do love Pat and am grateful that he works so hard and provides us with everything so that I don't have to work.   He is a great husband, we are just on different planets right now and trying to find each other.   

    

Osteoblastoma and Christmas

We recently found out that our 6 year old, Cameron has an Osteoblastoma in the temporal region of his head. More specifically it's on the right side by his ear. Osteoblastomas are fairly rare to begin with, but to have one in the temporal bone is even more rare.    It has compromised the hearing in that ear.  And everyday we notice that its getting worse.  Today we were up visiting my mother in law at her office and one of her friends had stopped by to visit before we got there.  My mother in law asked her to stay so she could talk to me about her experiences with Primary Children's Hospital.  Which were all good and relieved me of several of my fears.  I was afraid for Cameron when they put the IV in because the time he's had it done before wasn't a pleasant one.  I guess none of them really are pleasant but the lady who did his last one when he was about to get his MRI done started to put the needle in and then Cameron screamed and pulled his arm back, pulling the needle back out and so 3 of us had to hold him down while she did it again.  I felt horrible for him.  I never want to have that happen to him again cause he was so scared and it hurt him really bad.  So I was worried about how they were going to do it and if they could possibly put him to sleep first.  She said that they either give the kids a little cup of good tasting liquid that makes them loopy, or they give them a gas to breath that makes them loopy so they don't care as much or they put a numbing cream on them to make it not hurt.   
    Plus I was worried about whether or not I'd be allowed to stay in his room with him because I had promised him that I would be there when he woke up.  I want to keep that promise,  but I also just don't think I'll be able to stay away from him that long.  
    She said that they are so good about not only calming down the kids who are there to have surgeries, but they are also excellent about calming down mom and dad as well.   And since the waiting room will be full of family, hopefully they are good at calming down Grandma's and Grandpa's and aunts and uncles and whoever else. 
    She told him that they will let him play video games and that he can have his favorite stuffed animal or blanket with him the whole time.   And that they would pull him around in a wagon when he was well enough. He was pretty excited about the wagon and video games. :)  

    I am worried about a lot of stuff.  And I really, REALLY hate the not knowing.  Yes I know, or at least they think they know what it is, but until they do a biopsy, they won't know for sure either...  We don't know when the  surgery will be.  Not even what month it will be. That makes any plans for Christmas we might have put on hold until we figure out what is going on.   We don't know for sure where it will be.   I am getting tired of going to doctor appointments just to TALK. I really want to some freakin' answers!!  But since this will be the 4th doctor we've talked to and he has yet to see Cameron. I understand why we are talking but I want it done now.  I am being whiny I know, but I hate to look at him and know that he is either hurting or that he can't hear anymore.  He has always been so healthy and when he had pink eye when all this started, that was the first RX I had ever filled for him.  (Also, as a side note, I learned that human breast milk works to get rid of pink eye really fast and is better than the drops. You can Google the why's of that if you really care.) 

     I am worried that the doctor won't be able to do the surgery until January.  By the time we go, it's the first week of December, and he only does surgery on Tuesday's so the soonest they could do it will be the 11th, or the 18th.  The next Tuesday after that is Christmas and the next one after that is New Years so the next one he'd do surgery on is the 8th of January.  I know that specialists book out weeks in advance for surgeries and that the end of the year is bad because either the doctors take their vacations or because everyone wants to get their surgery done before the end of the year.   I was thinking it would be a good time for Cameron to have surgery since he can miss most of December and he won't miss that much school because of Christmas break.  I don't want him falling behind, and you'd think he's in Kindergarten how far behind can he get?!?  VERY.   They have weekly homework plus several sheets that they do in class. I've already talked to his teacher so she knows everything and is going to send home stuff for him to do. 

 But is it wrong to want the surgery before Christmas?? Would his Christmas be totally ruined by having surgery right before it? Would it be better for him to wait until January to have his surgery??  I honestly don't think I can wait until January and stay sane!  I am NOT a patient waiter.   These are the types of questions plaguing me.

   I would like to say a big huge THANK YOU to all our friends and family for all your amazing love and support you have given us!!! We are truly overwhelmed by it all!!! You guys are AWESOME SAUCE!!!



























 

My boys

     Pat had to go pick up his new uniforms yesterday so I decided we would all tag along, in the hopes that we could stop at a park and the boys could get out and run, because it's been so cold here lately, it's been hard for them to really go outside. And since it was a fairly calm day we decided to try again. (We tried on Saturday as well, and right after we got to the park the wind kicked up and it was a freezing wind so we had to leave) 

     So we stopped to get something to eat, and then stopped a nature preserve.  It was still over cast, kinda cold, and EXTREMELY wet!!! The ground was flooded. So the boys had a great time jumping in the puddles, until Kelly fell and then I put a stop to the jumping.  ( I know I'm such a mean mom, lol)

    I took the opportunity to take a few shots of the boys.  Here a few of my favorites.

 I absolutely LOVE this picture of my boys!!! 

 I had the funnest time taking pictures of Cameron... He was so serious until I asked him to smile and then he'd bust up laughing. It was the cutest thing ever!

 And I had to threaten to take away his phone forever to get him to smile.  Kelly just doesn't like to smile but I got a few.

This was after I told him that I'd throw the phone in the creek right behind him. Or it could have been after Pat came up and did the whole "bunny ears" behind my head. Who knows... lol (I didn't really tell him I'd throw it in the creek, but the bunny ears are very true) lol

I swear I get this look ALL the time!!! It's his 'I'm only humoring you but I think you're a huge dork' look.  lol  I still love all my boys!!!

Blankets I've made

It's taken me awhile to get the pictures off my camera.  I did the first three in the last three months of 2010.  The last one I've done a bunch of times. 
  My grandma taught me how to crochet when I was younger and I'm glad she did.  I may get irritated when I screw up a blanket, but when I see the finished product, I love it!!! I have so much fun making them.  


                                          This one is the one I did for my mother in law for Christmas.  It's one of my favorite ones I've done so far.  

This is a baby blanket I did for one of Pat's friends.  They had their first baby. I couldn't decide if I liked the blue and white together or if it looked too girlie.

This one was for my sister.  The one that didn't get done by Christmas but was done a week later.  It's done in her wedding colors.  It was fun to do once I figured out what exactly I was doing. lol

And the "original" baby blanket.  I've made this one about 6 times now.  I love it and the mom's seem too as well.  

Fears

I'm actually amazed that it hasn't been as long since I last wrote. Not that this post is anything very important, instead, just thoughts I was having while sitting in my mostly quiet kitchen. It's 1pm, and my husband is still asleep, (he was up really late last night), my kids are gone, one with his dad and the other with my sister. It's been snowing all morning so I don't really want to go outside. So I sit here in my kitchen with a mug of hot chocolate and my stereo playing, (low so not to wake the husband).

I was thinking about the snow a bit ago, thinking that even if it wasn't snowing and was super warm, I'd still only feel comfortable going into my back yard. The neighborhood outside my front door almost feels alien to me. I mean the part from the door to the car isn't bad, and once I'm in the car I'm fine. But I've never been for a stroll around the neighborhood. What I can see is from my front room windows. Which now because of the weight of the snow in the branches of the evergreen tree across the street I can now see that they have a windmill in their backyard. I've never seen it before. It's actually spinning quite fast at the moment. It got me wondering what else I've never seen. The problem is that I don't feel at home here. In my house, yes. I feel very at home here, but the rest of the neighborhood, not so much. My neighbors so far are pretty nice, in fact Mr. Next Door Neighbor is snow blowing my sidewalks as I write this. I've never asked him to. He's just doing it to be helpful. They also brought me over cookies the other day, just to say hi. I've never had neighbors do that before.

My problem is that for the last few years, I've gained some weight and it's made me very self conscious about going out in public. I've afraid everyone is looking at me and thinking about how much I weigh. It's stopped me from doing things I used to really enjoy. Like going for walks and investigating my neighborhood. It's made me find solitary things to do instead. And I really hate that.

I read a blog post today that talked about fears. It was a really good post and a lot of the fears that were mentioned in it are the same ones I have, (though not the going out in public one, this was about writing.) I've never really mentioned that I want to write to anyone. My family knows and encourage me but I'm too scared to tell anyone else or really show them what I've written. I'm taking online classes for writing and even at that, I'm not progressing as much as I'd like too because I'm too scared to put myself out there to let anyone see my work, or I'm afraid that they will think I'm completely stupid. I have one assignment that I have been working on for a long time because it's an assignment that I have to give my opinion on what I read, and I don't want the teacher thinking I completely missed the point or that I'm never going to pass the class. The worst part is that my father in law taught both English and Spanish and he would be more than happy to help me, but I just don't dare ask him because I don't want his opinion of me to fall either. I'd rather the teacher, who I don't know, think I'm slow than my father in law. I was very intimidated by him when I first went to their house. Luckily I never had him in high school, but his kids speak with proper grammar and I usually don't. Not because I can't. Usually just because I don't want to. Until I met him. Now I try all the time if I'm talking to him.

I think that the fears keeping me inside go hand in hand with the fears keeping me from writing. I read what I write and think it's garbage. So I don't let anyone see what I'm writing anymore. When I first started I had what the blog I read calls a beta reader, but I've even stopped sending her the pages. For two reasons. I don't think that she has the time anymore, and I'm not writing as much anymore. I'm just too scared. I sit down to write, and I get writers block because I want to write something great, and I'm afraid I can't do great and so I just sit there. I read other peoples works and think it's great. I want to get over this. I don't really even care if I was ever a published writer, I just want to finish what I start. I want to write for me. And if anyone else enjoys it, so much the better. I hate that the fear is almost paralyzing. My goal is to get past it... now to figure out how... lol

Happy New Year!!

I hope that this year finds everyone healthy and happy!!!

So I really am going to set some REASONABLE goals this year and try very hard to keep them!! I always start out great, like everybody does, and then I just end up forgetting.
One of the things I want to be better with, is being nicer. And having more patience. I start out great with this one, but I just don't seem to have as much patience as I used too....

Christmas was great!! Could have been a little less stressful,but.....
We opened our family presents first before anyone got here, and then waited for everyone else to get here to open the rest. Pat had to work for 4 hours in the afternoon, so we had to have it all done before he left. I hate when he has to work on major holidays. His building is closed, he shouldn't have to work. But they are very shorthanded at his work, so he had to pull a shift as well.
I recently found out that one of my oldest friends, (as in knowing her the longest) is getting a divorce. It was a complete shock to her. She didn't know that her husband was even thinking about it. And they'd been married for a really long time. She found out right after Christmas. It always gets me thinking... I am so grateful for my husband and for our marriage. I am so blessed. While waiting for my father in law's surgery to be over my mother in law and I were talking and I said something along the lines of "we'll I'm glad because you're kinda stuck with me." to which she replied that she was glad because she doesn't want to lose me. (which was super sweet) But I told her that somehow I had managed to learn from my past marriage, and what I DID NOT want again, and what I wanted different and I waited until I found it. I didn't rush out to find it, I was having fun playing the field to think seriously about getting married again but when I found Pat I knew that he was what I was looking for. He is NOTHING like my ex-husband. Our marriage is NOTHING like my previous one. We have a very stable and rock solid marriage. We are very happy and in love and I know for a fact that I wouldn't be able to find it again. Or it would take a very, very long time to find it again so I am happy right where I am. I am more than content. lol I often wish that others had marriages like mine. We do have our disagreements, but they are very few and far between. I just want everyone to have my happiness.
Now, my friend thought she was happy too, and in no way saw this coming. I still don't know all the details as I have respected her privacy and not asked, but I know she thought she'd be married forever to him. I am so heartbroken for her and her boys!! Her boys don't understand at all. She is such a strong woman that I know she can get through this, but I am heartbroken for the pain she is going through now, and in the future.

Pat went to work the Monday after Christmas to find out that one of his acquaintances had passed away. He was pretty young, ok like 30-40ish. Maybe a little older. This man had giving us a wedding gift when he didn't really know us, and he was always so nice and would make sure that at least waved if he saw us. I admit I didn't know him very well at all, but he was just SO nice that I really am heartbroken over it. Why is it that it seems like that cliche is true, "the good die young" ??? I just don't understand. I mean I don't want anyone to die, like I'm not wishing for anyone's death, but out of all the people out there, why is it always the nice ones??

Well, now that I brought this post down so much, I guess I'll go ahead and go do some facebook time before bed!! lol

I hope you all have a very HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Cheers to the Drama Free Christmas!!

That's my wish anyway...

I was just thinking that it was a pretty uneventful holiday season, which is probably what jinxed me, when I found out a few days before hand, that my father in law was going in for surgery-- an out patient procedure-- on his shoulder. While he was getting the once over the nurse asked him about his oxygen saturation levels, which were low. He told her that she was the 2nd person to ask him about that recently so he asked the anesthesiologist about it and was told that he should be tested for sleep apnea, etc, when he's feeling better. Then after surgery they decided to keep him over night because of how low his sat's were. So they settled him onto a room and started to run a bunch of tests. Found that he has a partially collapsed lung that he wasn't aware of. Which was why he was so winded and couldn't keep his sat's up. He ended up staying two days and coming home with oxygen.

Then Kelly came home sick on Friday, and Cameron also woke up sick on Friday. Cameron was with my sister for two days because she watched him while I went to sit with my mother in law during the surgery, then she decided to keep him an extra day to give me some me time. Which I cleaned. lol Poor Brenda is sick now too. :(

So I've had two sick kids for the weekend, and my cute, adorable 8 month old dog we just got, went into heat!!! As if I didn't have enough to deal with already. It's been so long since I've had a dog, I had to look up how long their in heat for: IT'S 3 WEEKS!!!! She's been bleeding all over my house! And I can't get her fixed until she goes out of heat!! I just hope she's done by Christmas!!!

Which as it turns out, we are going to be having here.
And, I've been baking cookies all weekend and trying to finish my sister's Christmas present! I'm not even half way done yet and less than a week to try and finish it. I might be giving it to her with what I have done and taking it back to finish it and then giving it back to her.

I got a bunch of packages in the mail today, so once I wrap them, I am caught up again. I'm trying to keep it as stress free as possible. lol

Oh and hey, I tried to make some peppermint hard candies, and the first little bit was fine, but I had to keep putting it back in the oven, and it got a bunch of air bubbles in it and made wrapping it around a wooden spoon (for the curl effect) very hard. It kept breaking apart where all the bubbles were. It was the first time I have ever made candy so I don't know what I did wrong. If anyone out there does, please let me know. THANKS!!!

Here is the recipe, it was super easy until the bubbles happened. lol Even with the bubbles, it's still really good!!

HARD CANDY PEPPERMINT TWISTS

1 Cup Water
1 Tbsp White Vinegar
2 Cups Sugar
1 1/2 tsp Peppermint Extract
1/8 tsp Red Food Coloring

Coat two 9-in. square baking pans with nonstick cooking spray; set aside. (Do not use butter or foil to prepare pans.)

In a heavy saucepan over medium heat, combine water and vinegar. Add sugar. Cook and stir until sugar is dissolved and mixture comes to a boil, about 8 minutes.
(If sugar crystals are present, cover saucepan for 1 1/2 to 2 minutes to allow steam to wash crystals down.)
Cook, without stirring, until a candy thermometer reads 300 (hard-crack stage), about 26 minutes.

Combine extract and food coloring. Remove syrup from heat; stir in peppermint mixture until well blended. (mixture will bubble up slightly.) KEEP FACE AWAY FROM MIXTURE AS ODOR IS STRONG. Immediately and carefully pour into prepared pans (Do not scrape sauce pan or tilt pans to spread mixture evenly.) Cool for 1 1/2 to 2 mintues.

Using a sharp knife, score candy into 1/2-in. to 3/4-in. wide pieces, about 3-in. long. Place both pans in a warm oven (150 or your ovens lowest temp) for at least five minutes or until candy is warm enough to cut but cool enough to handle. Using a heavy duty kitchen scissors, cut along scored lines, one piece at time. Immediately wrap each piece around the handle of a wooden spoon; remove candy and place on waxed paper to harden. Continue cutting wrapping until mixture in pan begins to harden. Return pan to oven for at least 5 minutes.

Meanwhile, remove second pan from oven. Cut and wrap as before until mixture begins to harden. Return to oven and repeat with first pan. Repeat until all mixture is cut and formed into twists.

YIELDS about 1/2 pound.

(it was in the returning to oven process that I got all the bubbles.) but it's still yummy!!

The Joys of Christmas

Normally I really do love this time of year. With this weird weather we're having I am just not feeling at all Christmas-y. I put up my tree. I even went and got it from my mother in law's house all by myself. She wanted a smaller tree for her house so she gave me her old one. I love it. I've done it with red ornaments and white lights. Very pretty. Anyway, I've put up a tree, a few wall decorations and that's it. No outside lights, no lights anywhere else in the house. It just doesn't feel like Christmas yet. Maybe that's why.

One a plus side, Pat and I finished all our Christmas shopping in one day! And we even squeezed in a movie!! We got Pat's present while at Best Buy, and he's been like a little kid ever sense. "I better hook it up and make sure that it works properly", "If we wait until Christmas and it doesn't work it'll be too late to take it back," "It's only got like a week return policy, I'd better hook it up now and make sure that it's ok." He even suggested that I hook it up and then have somewhere I have to go for awhile and leave him here to "not" play with it! lol

I had to order my present today. And BONUS, I got free shipping and no tax!! Go Me!! LOL I am getting really good at finding deals on line. I think that means that I shop online too much! Not like I'll stop anytime soon. It's just so easy!

On other news, we got a dog. Her name is Dixie -- most days. lol I sometimes call her Daisy, not sure why, she is an 8 month old Border Collie. She is so cute and fun! She is just full of energy. When the wind blew leaves across the yard she was in heaven running after them and chasing them. And when it snowed, she was scared to go out, until we showed her that its ok to go out in it. That it won't hurt her. Then she had a blast!! Nose down in the snow, flipping it up into the air and trying to catch it.

I'm wrapping all the presents we have here tonight so that they are all done and I don't have to worry about it. The only other person I have to buy for is my dad. He likes coin stuff so I have to go to the coin store for his, but other than him, we are completely done!! YAY!!!

So why am I not more in a holiday mood?? Good question, but I am going to assume it's the weather. I don't like gray days. And it's hard to think Christmas when it's so warm outside. I could never live somewhere where it never snows in the winter. I don't mind visiting, but I like the differences in the seasons. And it's just too warm. Which in a way is good, because our car does not go in the snow at all, and with Pat driving to work everyday, it's better for us this way. But I hope that it does snow in time for Christmas, so we can have a white Christmas. lol

And of other news, I dyed my hair red, only it went ORANGE!!! I have orange hair. It's like Anne of Green Gables red, or maybe the Wendy's 'Wendy' orange. Even Pat doesn't like it. So I guess I live with it for a few weeks and try to fix it. I would post a pic, but it would embarrass me too much. lol

A few classic's revisited

So lately I have been reading as much as possible. And I have to say that although I have new authors I love, the classics will always be my favorites. Such as "Jane Eyre", "Pride and Prejudice", "Persuasion", and "Sense and Sensibility" to name a few. (Yes I am aware that I love Jane Austen.)

The other day I was browsing the Barnes and Noble website and found some books for my Nook. The titles were interesting enough to peek my interest. Such as "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies" I mean COME ON!! Mr. Darcy, Elizabeth and Zombies!!! How could that not sound good to read!! So I bought it! And I laughed so hard!!! Pat read it after me, and he said that in the parts that it was Jane Austen's words or part of the story he was bored silly. Where as I love the book so I wasn't. In essence, the book that I bought was Jane Austen's work with Seth Grahame-Smith adding in zombies.

I mean the first sentence went from: "It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife." (and yes I remembered that from my memory I have read it that many times.)
To: "It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be want of more brains." (I had to look this one up.)

How can you not buy that book!!

So I started to look around, and although I want "Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters" I haven't gotten it yet. But I did just get "Little Vampire Women" and another version of "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies" that is written by another guy and is mostly his work based loosely off Ms. Austen's novel. And my dad recently gave me "Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter" which I haven't read yet but I am going to. It's by the same Seth guy. Who incidentally is going to write Tim Burton's "Dark Shadows" starring another of my fav's, Johnny Depp.

And some more fun facts, "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies" is going to be made into a movie!! That I really want to see, though the book was full of blood and guts so I am sure that the movie will be too. I just hope they don't make it a 'serious' movie like the original movies are.

While looking for the covers of these books I found one titled "Jane Slayer"!!!! I so HAVE TO HAVE that book!!! I just hope it's as good!!

I'll have to let you all know after I finish them all how they were. But I am going into these with a 'that's completely ridiculous' attitude and so I am sure that I will enjoy them immensely.

My friends

EDIT:  I was getting too many hits on just this one entry so I changed the name of it from friends to what it is.... I don't really know why 77 people have decided to look at this one post... I also removed the friends logo because 132 people from mostly other countries has no need to view my blog. lol

So I was thinking the other day and I decided that I miss several of my very good friends. I miss people that I would rather not be friends with. I miss friends who are gone and can never come back- no matter how much I wish they could. It's not like I don't have any friends,I have friends, if you go by my facebook page, I have 183 friends. Though, admittedly a good portion of those are my family and some are people I don't know at all BUT I still have 183! It just feels lately like I don't have any.
I read a quote the other day and it totally fits.
"The trouble is not really in being alone, it's being lonely. One can be lonely in the midst of a crowd, don't you think?"
"Sometimes I can go into the mountains and stay by myself for days, weeks, and I'm not lonely, yet at a party surrounded by a hundred people, I am more lonely than ever."

And I must say that I know how that feels. Lately, since we've moved in, I feel very lonely. I have friends around, yet I still feel lonely. I don't know why all the sudden moving back to the place I grew up would make me feel lonely but it has. I hardly ever saw any of my friends where we lived before but I didn't feel as isolated as I do now. Even when I'm with family I still feel lonely. Some days my house is like Grand Central Station, but it doesn't change how I feel. I'm sure that this too will pass, my hope is that it does soon.

And now the unpacking...

Confession...
There hasn't been that much unpacking.... I unpacked the important things, and now we have boxes in the basement that are still sitting there full... I didn't want to be one of the tons of people that said, "oh I've been in my house for 4 years and still have boxes that need unpacking" Yeah, I'm pretty sure that if after 4 years I STILL have boxes-- they're getting thrown in the garbage! My problem is that once they made it to the corners of the basement, I just don't think about them anymore. The family area where the TV is is all cleaned and livable, but I still have boxes waiting to go into my office and Pat's man cave is nothing but boxes because I need to go in there and paint but I haven't done it yet. Why? Glad you asked. Because I don't want to. That's why. I only had two very small rooms to paint and I painted mine, and am not in the mood to do the other one yet. Plus I have a really big dining room table that isn't wearing it's legs on it's side in front of the man cave. See it was supposed to go in the storage room until we need it this Thanksgiving, but it's too heavy for me to move by myself and Pat's always tired when he comes home so I stuck it in front of his door hoping that he'd feel like helping me move it sooner and guess what? It's been there for 2 weeks now. So much for that brilliant plan. Maybe one of these days I can get him to help me move it on in to the storage room. I ran my foot over twice while trying to move it just to where I moved it to. I also plan on going into the storage room and reorganizing everything that's already in there because when we moved in things were just thrown in there and now its a big huge mess and I hate going in there. So I need to fix that and just haven't yet. Cause I'm being lazy on that one...;) And other than learning the noises of our house, (the pipes for the sprinklers make this horrible banging noise when they shut off and they were set for 530am- for the first few days we wondered if someone was banging on the side of the house, it was not fun!) I love the house. The neighborhood is fairly quiet and we've even used the fire pit for some dutch oven cooking and roasting marshmallows. Good times!

FINALLY!!!!!

We got our house!!!! I am so excited!!! I got to get the keys today!!! They are recording this morning and then they will call me to meet me there and hand over the all important keys!!! I also have to get the power in our name today before they close so that they don't shut the power off for the weekend. That would suck but certainly wouldn't stop me from moving in. I'm going to be going up there today and tomorrow and painting two of the rooms. Just because we're not blue people and the rooms were painted blue.

I am just so excited!!! I need to run to get ready for the day. It's going to be a busy and full day!!!

Almost there....

A few things I've learned through this whole experience.

1. Never go through the bank we are using to buy a house!
2. It's better not to buy a modular home if you can help it. I love our house, but if I had known all the inspections it's had to go through- I might have passed on it all together. Or at the very least added more time into all our "deadlines".
3. Deadlines are just dates that are put on the paper to scare you into doing things when they want it, but no one else has to follow them or adhere to them. (Except maybe the sellers too??)
4. They made the buying of a house almost impossible since the economy crashed that it's not a good time to buy, even though everyone keeps saying that it is.
5. I may never sell my house, (unless it's like childbirth and you 'forget' all the bad because of the potential good) because this process has been a nightmare!
6. Trying to pack with a 3 year old going behind you trying to pull everything out is a pain in the butt!!


Our good news we got the other day turned out not to be so good after all. The insurance company after telling us that they would insure us and that they were all good to go and everything, the next day they told our processors that they wouldn't insure us for the full loan amount, after we had asked them that specifically. So we ended up calling the guy who is insuring it right now, cause we knew that he'd insure it for us now, and we ended up getting an even better rate for our house, but our car insurance did go up about 10 dollars. BUT we have better coverage on the car so I'm not all that upset.
And so now here we sit.... 3 days past our financing deadline and we still have no answers. Everyone (our families and Realtor) is telling us it's fine and that they are scheduling our closing (tomorrow morning) and our final walk through,(tonight)and everything like we're closing on Wednesday- which is tomorrow- even though the bank hasn't given us the final YES that we want to hear.
I really hope they all know what they are doing. I think at this point if for some strange reason we didn't get the house, my Realtor would go postal on the bank.
Honestly, the underwriters have had our completed file since Friday morning- Does anyone how long does it take for them to look it over one more time, since they've looked it over twice before, and decide. What really irritates me is that the bank and the underwriters knew all along the dates of our deadlines and they keep procrastinating until they've passed all our deadlines. So are the deadlines only for the buyers and sellers, but not the financial institutions??
Everyone keeps saying that if we weren't going to get the loan that we wouldn't have gotten this far, yet the people who tried to buy the house first couldn't buy it because their financing fell through at the last minute. Does that mean that they got this far to be told no? What is 'the last minute' really? I just don't have answers to these questions but because of those questions I can't relax very well.
I may add another post after this one today if and that's a big IF, we actually get an answer from the bank today!!

Finally some good news...

Ok, so today we ended up getting some good news, just not the news we really want. We got a really good deal on our home owners insurance. YAY!!! And it went really easy and the lady there was super nice and fast. AND SHE CALLED BACK WHEN SHE SAID SHE WOULD!!! My poor Realtor is sick of dealing with the bank and the underwriters. She'll call them with something, and not hear back for hours- sometimes not for days. She got so sick of this that she called both the girls who are working on our loan, then emailed them, and then faxed them. And guess what... She received a call back. The second inspection was done this morning and now we've heard that it's under review and so *HOPEFULLY* we will have an answer today!! I know, I know... but I can always hope... and pray... and beg... and borrow... and plead... And I guess if that doesn't work I can always sit down and have a good long cry.

(Just kidding on the whole crying thing...)

Then again, maybe not. lol

We are hoping to get most of the house packed this weekend. That is assuming we have an answer by Friday. I have also boycotted packing any thing else until we get an answer. I didn't pack anything yesterday and today we got the first bit of moving forward good news that we've had all week, and for the last week too. So it's gotta be that I was jinxing it.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

So we have 10-- count them-- 10 days until we move, 8 until we close!!! I'm kinda starting to freak out a bit- I'm not gonna lie.

As soon as it's my house, I'll post some moving pics and then I'll feel like it has been totally worth it.

Hopefully my next post will be to tell everyone that it's our house!!! :)

The continuing saga...

So we heard back from the bank and they did adjust the price, but not as high as it was. It's right in the middle. The sellers are happy, we are happy and the bank is happy. So everyone is happy right? Wrong! Cause then the bank was asking for more paper work, which we provided. Now it's the stupid underwriters that are jerking us around.
I have been run through the ringer with this house deal. I know that buying a house is a big deal, but honestly, can you make it any harder?? Now we are being told that the underwriters want an engineering report on the house and because there isn't one, we have to pay $400. for it! And our financing deadline is TODAY! But they said this isn't anything that has to do with our deadline, which I don't understand, but whatever. It doesn't have to be done by today which is good because if it did, they'd be hearing a lot from me. We've been trying to get in touch with them for 2 days making sure that we were meeting all their demands. But it does need to be done before we can get a for sure YES. Everyone keeps saying that everything looks good, and that they don't see any problems, but I want the for sure YES!!! I honestly can't take it anymore. I am stressed to the hilt. I am sick of this apartment, sick of all the boxes everywhere, some packed, some empty.
I have a confession.... I am not packing as much as I would normally be packing because I'm afraid of jinxing it. If I pack it and then we don't get the house I really don't want to unpack everything. :(
I am tired of my neighbor sitting outside yelling at her kids all day because she's too lazy to go and actually get them. Instead she sits on her porch and yells as her kids wander farther and farther away. Her kids are 2 and 3ish.
I really want to sit outside on my patio enjoying the evening air as it cools off, (saying that it will might help it really do it, right? I didn't think so either but it's worth a shot) and not hear her yelling all night long.
I want to start decorating my house. Repainting walls, taking off the horrible wall paper, picking out curtains.
This house has been sold twice since it was built. You would think that if it wasn't sound, someone would have noticed by now!!! All the money they are sucking out of us, it's any wonder people aren't buying houses now and the housing market is in such bad shape.

Our new house or not?!?!

So.... We have decided to buy a house. It's actually been pretty easy, with a few hick ups here and there. We did the whole pre-qualifying, in the middle of the week. Then I started to try and find some houses to go look at. I looked online, at several really good sites. Found several that we really liked. Now being new to the whole home buying experience we had no idea what "short sales" were, and go figure almost all the houses we liked in this area were short saled. So we looked closer to our parents and found several that I was willing to walk through. Oh the joys of that. I had no idea what to expect, but it wasn't what I found.
House #1 was in the area I grew up, just down the block in fact. It was a nice looking house -- from the front. It was down right scary from the back and inside. It was decorated in the 50's or 60's and hasn't been done since. Including the appliances that they were leaving with the house. It had been empty for quite a while and was in sad shape. The carpets through out were that green shag carpet, stained in several places, I wasn't even sure the oven or range top (which were separate, the oven was in the wall which I was excited about until I saw it) would actually work they were so old. The basement was a big scary mess!! AND it had a BROILER in the basement instead of a furnace. I've never dealt with a boiler before. I'd rather not start now. For the condition the house was in, they wanted WAY WAY too much money. Now I know that you can talk them down, but with all the things we'd have to replace before we could move it, it was a big fat NO!
House #2 was a nice 4 bed, 2 bath with a huge yard-fully fenced- with a 2 car garage. Now we had appt's to see all these houses with our Realtor Kelly who is FABULOUS!! I just love her!! Anyway, we show up at this house to find out that the people renting some of the rooms were in various degrees of dress and being ready. ***CONFESSION*** I really liked the outside and upstairs of this house, but I was terrified by this house.
The lady who owns it was renting out single rooms, so there were 3 mini fridges, downstairs was so terrifying that I wanted out as soon as possible. They had set up a couple hot plates down there in a make shift laundry room and kitchen. The basement had a mother in law apt without the kitchen part. They had a closet that used to be the coal room, complete with a coal shoot opening outside, which they had made a bed in there and was renting it out as a bedroom. All the doors had dead bolts on the them and everywhere they could stuff a body, there was a body stuffed there. We had to knock on bedroom doors, ask to look inside, which we peeked in and left, and them we were asked if we wanted renters. UMMM.... NO WAY IN HELL!! We are looking for a house that we can move our family into, not to share our house. The downstairs bathroom made me laugh so hard, but given the condition the house was in, I'm not at all surprised. Right when you walked down the tiny steep steps, you walked into the huge laundry room/their mini kitchen. If you turned to your right, there were 2 bedrooms, a bathroom that just had a toilet and sink, and right out in the middle of the open area was a communal shower!!! You could see over the top, and under the door, it was that open. I was so amused that I seriously laughed for at least 5 minutes and then again when we were outside looking at the yard. I was almost 3000sq ft but felt so cramped and tiny because of how full it was.
House #3 I LOVED!!! But it was also partially unfinished. And more work than we wanted to take on. It was 6 bedrooms- I know we don't need that many rooms, but it was in our price range because it needed some work. The house had such history- I could tell- just when you walked in and looked around, you could feel it in the air. It was weird, it didn't feel bad at all, but just walking through the rooms it felt like I was trying to walk through water. My lungs were laboring like I had just spent 30 minutes exercising. I loved the layout of the house, the huge yard, mostly fenced. But it had only 1 working bathroom and one under construction. The original part of the house was built in 1864 and it had been added on to several times. And not very well in some places. Like I said, I loved it, but way too much work to make it comfortable for us to live there. Plus, it didn't have any air conditioning except a small window one and that meant that the 3 rooms upstairs were going to be hot in the summer and cold in the winter. We'll pass this time around.
Now house #4 was perfect! (It's also the house we put an offer on, I'm just sayin')
It is a 5 bedroom, 2 bath house with a full basement, a nice sized lot-fully fenced- and lots of great little things, like ... A gas fireplace in the family room downstairs, a storage room (we even talked them into leaving their upright freezer-bonus!!) My only complaint about the whole house, is the size of the bedrooms. They are pretty small. Though, it's hard to say for sure because they had all the rooms FULL of furniture. I must say that I love LoVe LOVE the kitchen. It isn't big, but it's just right. All new appliances and a gas stove which I am super happy about. They are leaving a swing in the back yard, and there is a fire pit back there and a nice big patio. I think we'll be spending a lot of time on the patio so I'm very happy.
House #5 was nice, a 4bed, 2 bath house even closer to our parents than the one we are trying to get. It had a newly remodeled kitchen, which was nice, but you could tell that they did the work their selves and in some places, not very well. The yard was smaller and I didn't like it as much. It just wasn't our house even with a nicer, bigger, newer kitchen. OK, nicer isn't really comparable because I liked the other kitchen better. It was brighter somehow. This one wasn't even clean. They had swept cereal under the cabinets which you could still see.
The owners of the house we are trying to get really know how to stage their house so that it was welcoming and bright and cheery and lovely.

We like house #4 so much that right after we got done looking at houses we followed our Realtor to her office (on a Saturday and my birthday to boot) put an offer on the house, and less than 3 hours later she called me to tell me that they had accepted our offer, happy birthday to me!!
We found out that someone else had put an offer on the house before us but their financing feel through, so we were able to snatch it up.

Now comes the stress... We are doing everything they want us to do. We got the inspection, we gave them our earnest money, and we were just waiting for the appraisal. When it came in, we had a slight problem. The house didn't appraise for what we offered them. It appraised for $8,000 less. Now the stress really begins to have fun. The sellers agent wants a review of the appraisal because she doesn't think that the guy was very thorough. And all this is happening while banks and offices are closed for the 4th of July holiday. We are starting to get close to our deadlines which is making me nervous. The sellers have already put another house under contract and have paid for their inspection as well. They want out. They said that if they can't get a review or if it doesn't change than they are willing to drop the price. Which is good for us, but I need to know ASAP- If we need to back out we need to do it before the middle of the month. We are less than 3 weeks from the day we are supposed to close. I've taken in our 30 day notice to the apartments, I want to start packing non-essentials so that I'm not rushing to pack last minute. And now, I'm like- do I keep going, do I wait for word from them or the bank!?!?
UGH!!! It's enough to knot my shoulders and make my tummy in knots. I'm actually better now than I was before. When I found out on Friday I was pretty nasty- I know it's hard to believe, but yes it's true. I was down right bi%!hy.

Ahhhh.... I feel better, having gotten that off my chest. When I find out for sure, I will post pics of my house!! :)